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The New Year's Resolution

by The Mighty Afrodite
Dec. 30, 2004

Yep, it's that time of the year again, the end of the year, to be exact, and of course, the beginning of a new year. Time again for that demoralizing, pointless ritual, The Making of the Annual Resolution That You Never Keep and Can't Believe You Made In The First Place. Who the hell came up with this idea, anyway? It's weird; it's like some kind of half-assed lent inflicted on people who where lucky enough to escape the ever reaching grasp of religion. The only difference being, instead of giving something up, you swear up, down, and all around that you are going to change something about yourself, your life, your habits, etc..., etc..., etc...

You end up setting some impossible standard for yourself, then get depressed because things don't turn out the way you expected. And 9 times out of 10, what you're trying to change isn't even about you, it's about how you think others perceive you.

First of all, I know personal growth is a scary and difficult thing; however it is not something you can compartmentalize into ten easy steps and set a time limit on. This is an ongoing thing that takes you pretty much the rest of your life to accomplish. Don't worry, as you approach every new situation in life, you'll feel the results of your ever-growing maturity, even if you can't quite define what's different about the situation.

Second, many people use resolutions as exterior solutions to interior problems. People will resolve to lose weight, change the shape of their bodies, acquire bigger and better clothes, cars, appliances,... the list is endless. You really have to ask yourself: Why aren't I happy? What will make me happy? Take a deep breath, and it's not that hard to figure out what you really need to be happy. I guess the real trick is figuring out what you need to be happy with yourself.

You see, this is a two-part answer, because a lot of people resolve to change something about themselves to suit someone else. Your significant other thinks you need to lose ten pounds, or your parents think you're a failure because you don't make a lot of money, or nobody understands why you don't ever want to have kids. Whatever. All I can say is, it doesn't matter who lives your life for you, because you're still the one who has to live with the consequences.

And third? Why the hell does this resolution have to be notarized, ratified, and publicized on New Year's Eve? Isn't it enough for the cosmos that you made it through the previous year with out any major mishaps?

Sounds like efficient marketing, to me. Come to think of it, how do we know the catholic church isn't behind this?

Seriously, if you're going to resolve to alter your lives, my Darlings, make sure it's something you really want to change, and that you're changing for the right reasons. And while you're at it, cut your self some slack. If you don't accomplish enough in one year, just keep going until you're at the level you want to be. The idea is to feel better about what kind of person you are, not punish yourself.

I know that New Year's Eve seems like a good time to take stock of your lives.

I think you should leave your live stock alone.

See Ya Next Year,

The Mighty Afrodite