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The Mighty Afrodite was seen taking notes diligently at many nights during The Week of Wood. There was talk of this report being for the New York Waste, but it didn't make it into the December issue. Here it is for you woodfolks.

By The Mighty Afrodite

This Week:
Frank Wood Presents
"The Week of Wood"
Celebrating Scorpio Birthdays

Greetings, Darlings! 'Tis I, The Mighty Afrodite, coming to you from my new home, here at NY Waste.

And what better way to kick off my tenure here then with a goddess-eye view (such as it is) of Frank Wood's week long birthday shenanigans.

I must say, I always enjoy checking out Frankie's showcases, mainly because of the overwhelming abundance of talent, and lack of ego. These are Bands and performers who have fun and don't take themselves too seriously. You can tell that they sound good to themselves. What I especially enjoy is how you can tell who inspires any given band, without them sounding like a rip off. Your music should be about what inspires you, and Frankie's bands never disappoint.

Unfortunately, I was not able to make it to all the shows, though I did my best. This in no way reflects the quality of the bands I missed. Let's face it, even a goddess can't be every where at once.

Day One: Thursday, November 7, @ The 169 Bar

Meg Macan
Joy Ryder
Heather Larkin with T. J. Jourdan
Cruzando Bandera

I missed this show, due to organizational difficulties (mine).

However, I can confidently say, that since Frank holds a weekly unplugged showcase here, there is a standard of excellence to uphold, and none of these bands would've been invited if Frank didn't think they could uphold it.

Special admiration to the performers who show up unplugged every week; this is pretty much where we hear what you really sound like, and it takes some bravery to strip down for an audience.

Day Two: Saturday, November 9, @ the C-Note

Nipple Nation
The Last Show
The Unpronounceables
Brave The Day
Eddie Lee Priest and the Forgotten Heroes
No Show Ponies
Dharma Road

I missed part of this show, due to prior commitments, but if the bands I saw were any indication, I'm sorry I did. My apologies to those I missed. Don't worry, I'll catch you eventually.

The Unpronounceables
Chuck Beefalo, Chip Beefalo, Chet Beefalo and Jorge Beefalo

I wish I could tell you who played what instrument, but I have a bit of difficulty keeping it straight myself, mainly because, except for the drummer, the rest of the Brothers Beefalo kept switching their instruments around. They even took turns singing. The really fun part was the passing around of a huge upright bass.

They kicked off their set with a cover of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" that was so well done, you could almost swear they had done it originally themselves. They continued through their set with an energetic Jazz rock rhythm, dispensing with the mellow aspect that jazz is known for, and going for a more swinging feel.

Brave The Day
Jason (Bass), Jason (Drums), Becky (vocals), Joshua (Guitar)

This turned out to be a great band to follow the Unpronounceables with. While their music was more gently melodic, they had the same flow of energy, and the different instruments and vocals blended perfectly. They were very much into their own music, and it carried over so that the audience was included in the groove.

Eddie Lee Priest and the Forgotten Heroes

One word: Unforgettable.

Really thumping, shaking, roadhouse blues, like God (and Johnny Cash) intended . I haven't heard this kind of good old bar rock since my teenage years, gloriously misspent in New Jersey Roadside dives.

Show Three: Sunday November 10, @ Otto's Shrunken Head

Tuesday (former lead singer of 69 Nova) solo acoustic
Jana Peri Band
The Baghdaddios
Mad Juana

This was the first time I had been since the changeover (This used to be Barmacy) and I just loved what they did to the place. It had a whole Blue Hawaii/Macumba love feeling to it.

The lineup started off with Tuesday, the former lead vocalist for 69 Nova, a band I have never heard or heard of. So I can't make any comparison. Which is just fine with me.

Tuesday was warm with humor and unpretentiousness, she was groovy and gracious, she was friendly, and wicked, and sweet. She referred to her music as "Omni-Cosmic Rock" and unfortunately, such a phrase calls up images of self-righteous flakes with no clue as to how the world works. Unfortunate, because to me, her music is about things that every body thinks about when they are alone inside their own heads.

I guess her music is really just about feeling, and listening, and instinct and enjoyment.

Jana Peri Band

Another great set of sound. I always wanted to hear what Connie Francis would sound like plugged in, and finally, I get my wish. The Jana Peri Band was great, and fun, and rockin' . Even though their influences where clear, at the same time, they didn't sound like anybody else. The highlight of their set for me was their fabulously done cover of "I Love Trash", the much loved classic of public television first performed by Oscar the Grouch. They're a really good, classic, NYC rock band, which is a lot harder than most people think, but Miss Peri made it seem easy. She's heartfelt without being bitter or hostile.

The Baghdaddios

And the trend of great performances continued with these guys. Kenn Rowell jumped into the set with such enthusiasm, I thought he might have pulled something. This was great punk rock somewhere between the Dead Kennedys and the Dead Milkmen. Any point they might have made seemed like such a surprise (to everyone) that I feel compelled to create a new category just for these guys: Socially Unconscious Punk Rock. He was backed with some excellent composition and music provided by the rest of the band members, whose names unfortunately I can't seem to remember.

Mad Juana

Last, but not least, fresh from the Sauna party, all steamed and squeaky clean, was Mad Juana.

Their trippy mexican blues was miles a way from the Mariachi music their name might evoke. I swear their music could evoke a higher consciousness, at least the kind to be found in a peyote ceremony (or any well organized Aztec orgy). Their set was all steam, and quivering flesh, and hot sugar.

Show Four: Monday, November 11 @ Meow Mix

This was a show that promised some high spirits, being as it was Frank's actual Birthday.

To begin with, I missed the first band, surprise special guest Headphone Presidents, because I was having sex (in honor of Frank's birth, of course). Not to worry, they appeared twice for the Week of Wood, so I did catch them, as I will tell you about later.

Greg (Guitar, vocals), John (Bass), Tim (Drums), Chuck (the other guitar)

This was a great fucking thrash band, in the tradition of great thrash. Greg started off with indiscreet cracks about my Mother. Does it get any better than that? I couldn't understand a word they sang, and the bass playing was amazing. I loved these guys.

Banana Fish Zero
Prince Hal (Bass), Texas (Drums), John Law (vocals, guitar)

These guys were a truly indefinable rock band. They were snotty, and rambunctious and they don't behave. They did a cover of Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff" that melted inhibition .They said things out loud that some people don't want heard and the most unforgivable sin of all, they tell the truth.

Porn Rock
Pink Snow (Vocals), Miss Kitty (Stage Show), Levi Fox (Drums), Preacher's Kid (Guitar), Shelley Lynn (Bass)

Normally sex sells, but in this case, Porn Rock Sells the sex, and it is not a buyer's market. With lusty, roaring vocals and a spectacular stage show, Porn Rock takes control of their sexuality and gives the live sex show a depth and credibility it never had, until now.

I know what you're thinking - a show like that usually hides a mediocre band. WRONG!

The band was excellent, a well put together glam/funk rock band with amazing grooves and incredible composition. No shit! REAL music, from real musicians!

In fact, I thought they were soooo amazing, that when the incomparable Pink Snow invited me to play, I decided to bestow the single highest honor that I, The Mighty Afrodite, can give any band: I got topless. In fact, I stripped down to a G-string and my bitch-boots. A lesser band might have quailed but not Porn Rock. They embraced me as a Sister of the Art.

And of course, they sang "Happy Birthday" for Frank, and made him some memories he'll cherish (on VCR tape) for years to come. (Pardon the Pun)

Tuesday, November 12 @ CBGB's w/ Kipp Elbaum productions

Hurry Up Offense
The Nerve!
Detox Darlings
BitchSlapp w/ Felicia Collins
The Drossells
Flying 66
Suicide King
Jerry Agony & the Fluffers


I was screwing as usual, overslept, and missed this show as well. (But at least it's for a good cause!) But Frank Wood knows he'd be lynched if he tried to foist off sucky bands on any one, least of all, on CBGB's. So rest assured, all of these bands were worth seeing.

Wednesday, November 13 @ Arlene's Grocery w/ Mark Pines Productions

Black Flamingo
Mark Pines Project
Pretty Suicide
Headphone Presidents

I always like to end up at Arlene's Grocery, where I don't think I've ever caught a bad vibe or show.

Black Flamingo

Shirley Temple got a clue! Seriously, these guys had that child-like quality that usually gets lost during puberty. You know, that sense of silly, harmless fun, that quality that keeps things simple and uncomplicated, and keeps you saying exactly what's on your mind. They did a fun, punky cover of " I want to be Sedated" and I especially enjoyed "I Don't Like You." They were a fun band to watch and the music was clean and good listening.


As the name promises, this band delivers a lush vocal and sound quality, redolent of influences like Santana and Jethro Tull, to name a few. The sheer level of joy and energy that crashes together on stage gives people the mistaken impression that they are a Christian Rock Band. To set the record straight, no, they're not. It's almost a shame though; God's image could use the help.

Every member has their own influences, and they tie together seamlessly for a great experience.

Mark Pines Project

Vocalist Krista and Flutist Bobby Aaron from ripe joined Charley Buckland, Mattan Klein, Joel Hirsch, Mary Noecher and of course, The inimitable Mark Pines to throw a little devil into the festivities, with hits such as "She Don't Deliver" and "Volcano."

And got soulful with "Nadine's Touch." Every one melded beautifully, and the effect was heart felt.


I've always had good things to say about this power house, but then they get better and I have to pick up the pace.

Wounded has always shown me a good time but with the addition of Bassist Rob Rescigno, Wounded has finally achieved untold heights and depths. Their music finally has that cohesive energy they've always strived for. These guys were made to play together. Any one can make a great entrance, but it takes consistent brilliance to keep the night going until dawn. And when they pull out a heartstopping finale like "Feel This", then finally the sun can rise.

Pretty Suicide

If you're a child of the Eighties like me, you've been waiting for this band. It takes practice, practice, practice to pull together a show with movement, style and music, and these guys have worked hard. Of course, it all starts with talent, showmanship and a sense of humor, which these guys had in spades. They pulled out a fun, fast cover of the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" theme, and original tunes, like "Picaboo Street" and "Tall Glass of Pain" were no less awesome. They rocked, the way bands should rock.

I had to say: they inspired me. And at the end of a truly kick ass encore cover of Mötley Crüe, I stripped topless to honor their spirit!

Headphone Presidents

So, what band could possible follow? These five of Japan's sons and daughters. The music was pure metal, and the lyrics were pure rage. Not the mindless banging or whining prevalent today, they had a sense of the dignity and drama that characterize Kabuki Theatre. According to Anza, lead vocalist, they want to demonstrate deep strong feeling. They want to inspire people to get angry at the pain and injustices committed against them, and in becoming angry, oppose these abuses.

Well, there was nowhere to go after this line up but to head to The Cadillac for a night cap, and then home to dreamland.

Thursday, November 14 @ 169 Bar

Miami Relatives
Joy Ryder
Great Shakes
Still Life

While "The Week of Wood" went back to the house of wood, I skipped out to visit my mom (The Original Mighty Afrodite) and I did not catch this show either. How ever, no lineup that includes the Lovely and Accomplished Joy Ryder can slouch. Besides, how much audio excellence can one person be allowed?

Until next time, Great show, Darlings!