All
You Need Is Love
Feb. 1, 2003
By The Mighty Afrodite
Part One:
A Timely Redefinition
Yech! As I look around
the mortal realm, and see what passes for love among a large portion
of the population, it occurs to me that the time is ripe for a refresher
course, Darlings...
So what exactly is love,
anyway? Noted science fiction writer Robert Heinlein once wrote "The
definition of love is when someone else's happiness is essential to
your own." All right. But aren't you supposed to be responsible
for your own happiness? And what about when someone else's happiness
comes at the expense of your own? How much are you allowed to love
yourself if it hinders someone else's happiness? Aren't we supposed
to love ourselves, so that we may better love others?
Yeah. Kind of confusing,
isn't it?
The reality is, that what
most people consider love is really nothing more than co-dependent
obsession shared by two, where the participants are not individuals,
but simply living props, walking and talking and acting out a melodrama
of suppositions and unreasonable expectations without a real clue
as to what they want from each other or the relationship.
A perfect example? Valentine's
Day.
As a proud representative
of love, let me just say that this holiday has got to be one of the
biggest crocks of shit that I've ever experienced in my life. The
price of roses gets jacked up, little kids are encouraged to snub
their less conformist peers and men are emotionally blackmailed into
ponying up a mass of expensive goods either A) to prove their love
to the women they already honor and respect all year long, or B) to
try and quiet their guilt towards the women they neglect and abuse
and take for granted.
Love is about friendship.
And respect. And compatibility. And honesty. It's about appreciating
someone for who they are. Love doesn't mean making yourself miserable
to accommodate someone else's demands, and it's definitely not about
letting your needs eclipse someone else's.
And why the hell does V-Day
only focus on romance?
Clearly time for a revolution.
I have a few ideas where to start!
Your Friends
You know; those people
who support you in every crazy, stupid, or just plain inexplicable
decision you make, celebrate your every triumph more enthusiastically
than even you do and generally, just make the world the wonderful
place Disney wants you to think it is. You should appreciate and value
your friends all the time, but if you feel you just have to do something
to celebrate love on Feb. 14th, then party with your friends.
You know for a fact they love you!
Your Family
Yeah, I know, Home is where
they have to take you in, but still... They're your family!
They're always where you
need them to be, and yet, because they're always there, it's really
easy to take them for granted. Yeah, everyone takes turns annoying
each other , but you still love each other some how, some way; isn't
that worth celebrating?
Your Fellow Man
Why not? After all, you
share a planet with several billion of them. And a lot of them are
suffering terribly. Instead of looking the other way, why not acknowledge
these people? Better yet, why not get together with some of the many
small communities of caring people out there (otherwise known as charities)
and volunteer some time (never wasted) effort(always appreciated)
or a few dollars(well spent) to alleviate someone else's pain? Charity
isn't about giving out of guilt; It's about showing a little love
to someone who really needs it.
All You Need Is Love,
Part Two:
Every Little Bit Helps
Lisa Ludwig of The Black
Flamingos Loves her fellow man, and she loves her brother, Richard
(Dickie) Keston, too. So much in fact, that four years after his death,
December 8th, 1989 of AIDS, Lisa decided to honor both
by commemorating her brother's memory and the eve of his birthday,
orchestrating what has become one of the most important events on
the NYC music scene's calendar to raise money, support and awareness
for God's Love We Deliver, a non profit organization that delivers
quality meals to house-bound AIDS patients. More importantly, they
give these people, many of whom have been virtually abandoned by their
friends and family out fear and ignorance, a connection to other human
beings and help them feel like they are still a valid part of the
world.
I asked Miss Ludwig how
it all began. "I wanted to put together a show with a sense of
community , and I thought this benefit would be a good way to do that.
The point of music and love is that everybody matters." Gaining
more of a following every year, and attracting the support of such
all around nice guys as the late Joey Ramone and the punctual Buster
Poindexter, this annual event was bolstered in its 4th year by the
enthusiastic participation of Frank Wood, veteran NYC Music promoter.
After attending the show, Frank exclaimed to Lisa, "I have to
be a part of this!", and has been Lisa's partner in this endeavor
ever since.
This year marks the tenth
anniversary of this truly amazing show of humanity, and I can't think
of a better way to celebrate a day supposedly dedicated to love than
to come out to the Valentine's Day Benefit for God's Love We Deliver
By supporting the people
who are trying to make a difference, you make a difference too.
With All My Heart, Darlings.