Wood Shots
Previous Home Next

Frank

Police Sketch by Alan Rand

All Points Bulletin!

If you see the man in the attached police sketch, do not approach. His beard and cigar are dangerous.

Frank Spavento
Aliases: Frank Wood, Frankie Wood, The Wood Man (Morris' nickname for him), and Mr. F. Wood.

Wanted For:
- Promoting Porn Rock and Sex Slaves
- Fondling women at Meow Mix (and getting away with it)
- Pretending to have booked the Stones at Madison Square Garden

The Japanese government wants to question him about those ads
in Tokyo newspapers that say "Attractive young Japanese women
looking for apartments in New York can find a cheap place to live in Borough Park, Brooklyn. Contact Mr. F. Wood.
"

Jules at the C-Note doesn't get this bulletin because he lost his sense of humor.

If someone has Mighty Aphrodite's email address, please forward this to her for her protection.

Alan Rand